Snapshot #2: Where do I stand?

In my CSL placement so far, I do not recall experiencing a “trigger event”. While I agree with Dunlap’s argument that “understanding one’s own identity, including dimensions such as privilege and lack thereof, race, culture, etc., can be important to an accurate conception of oneself and crucial to functioning in a diverse and ever-changing world” (pg 19), I personally do not believe that I nor must everyone experience a trigger event to realize the disparities between oneself and a less privileged group of individuals.

In an increasingly multicultural society I feel that many of us are exposed to the realities of different socio-economic conditions and challenges that many people face. While I understand that looking at it from the outside does not automatically translate into ones full understanding or appreciation of the disparities that may exist between yourself and the particular demographic you are working with, it can however minimize the shock, or as Dunlap describes as the state of ‘cognitive disequilibrium’. This state of ‘cognitive disequilibrium’ that occurs after a trigger event is said to create confusion and discomfort in the individual. Taking from Dunlap’s comments on white privilege,  I can see how this process might apply in a situation where you place a white, wealthy, highly sheltered child in a desolate and poor African village, but I think that for the most part, particularly in my situation, that many people for the most part have been educated about the disparities and conditions that exist in the world.

I think that one of the reasons I have not experienced a trigger event during my placement at the BMHC is because I have been exposed to both the ‘type’ of people that primarily use the BMHC as well as the neighborhood itself. I put the word type in quotations because the people that use the BMHC actually come from a variety of different backgrounds and ethnicities and I want to refrain from generalizing them as one category of people. While the majority of the clients at the BMHC are First Nations people, the only real similarities between them and the other clients is that they are predominantly low income individuals and typically from what we would consider as being marginalized groups (new immigrants, low-income seniors, young mothers etc). I included my familiarity of the Boyle McCauley neighborhood as part of my explanation because this neighborhood is quite unique to Edmonton and really does reflect some of the social issues that are going on. Someone visiting the neighborhood for the first time might be surprised by what they see; fenced housing, random homeless people walking the streets, shutters and bars on storefront windows, people waiting in lines outside the Mustard Seed and so on. While I do not think it is a bad or dangerous neighborhood, it does however reflect a different socio-economic class and situation compared let’s say to an upscale south side suburban neighborhood. The reason that the Boyle McCauley neighborhood did not cause a trigger event is because I’ve been to this neighborhood several times and none of what I saw shocked me. The same can be said for my experience with the clients of the BMHC. I spent most of my life living and traveling overseas in developing countries so I’ve seen what it is to be marginalized, to be poor, to be sick, to be homeless, and to not have access to everything you need. While I will never be able to truly identify with the situations these people face, I think that it’s fair for me to say that I at least am able to recognize, understand, and be respectful to the challenges they face. I lived in Indonesia for most of my childhood so I’ve seen what poverty looks like. I’ve also unfortunately seen what being ignorant to poverty looks like too. I feel that my exposure to all of this neutralized any trigger, shock, surprise, or guilt that I might of felt if I was coming into this with a sheltered mind.

Dunlap argues that once a student has gone through a ‘trigger event’ and reached a state of ‘cognitive disequilibrium’ and the ‘divided self’ that they would either go through a process of assimilation or accommodation. Assimilation being a process where the individual dismisses the trigger event and is seen to be in denial of their privilege and results in little or no attitude change (portrayed as a negative approach), while accommodation is seen as the process where one engages in self-reflection, accepts and changes ones beliefs/views, and can allow for increased participation (seen as a positive path). I personally disagree with these two approaches because I don’t believe that you have to go through one or the other. I know that for myself I didn’t fall into either process. Whether this is because of my gradual exposure to similar conditions I saw at the BMHC or not, I do not feel as if I shifted towards either direction. Ideally I would like to say that I learned a lot by interacting with people at the BMHC and that they have exposed me to new things, but the fact is I haven’t. I feel that my involvement at the BMHC thus far has primarily been one of an outsider looking in. I haven’t had the opportunity to engage with any of the clients at a personal level and to be honest I don’t think that people would be comfortable with me just approaching them for a casual conversation about their life. Next week though I am meeting with the Women’s Group at the BMHC for a photography event so I think that will give me the opportunity to finally interact with clients. Perhaps then my opinion will change. But in all I feel that I have yet to identify with either process.

The photo I took for my snapshot of the view of people behind the wire is meant to reflect my experience with Dunlap’s concepts of assimilation and accommodation. I took this picture from the second floor looking down into the waiting room through a wired window. I think that the wires in the window which look like a fence metaphorically represent the divide I feel between myself and the people I am working with. The images of blurred people behind the ‘fence’ reflect the disassociation and unfamiliarity I have with them. As I have already mentioned, I have not had the opportunity in my placement so far to be involved with any clients at the health center. I feel like an outsider looking in and I feel there is a disconnect between the clients and I. I sincerely hope in the coming weeks I am able to work more closely with the clients and that it will allow me to grow and gain new experiences and knowledge that way.